With the birth of my youngest this time last year, I sit and try to take in all the challenges God gave us last year. I have to say it was one of the hardest times in my life. It was like a bad dream. My son came 9 weeks early. When the doctor rolled up to my bed on her stool and told my husband and I that my son may not make it thru the night. I had so many emotions hit me all at once. At this point, I still had not been able to even see my little angel. I have to say, I wore god's ears out that night. Minutes and minutes continued to go by.. and that is how slow it goes. I begged the nurse to let me roll in just to see him..if god wasn't going to let me keep him the least they could do is let me see him. It was super late that night I got to see his little face from my wheelchair. Needless to say it was a LONG night.
I had always heard stories but this time I was living it and had no idea what to expect. I guess you don't until you are the person sitting up all night, going home without your child, begging for him to take one more MM of food, praying his heart doesn't stop again, the list goes on and on. I remember a girlfriend of mine that I was prego with for my first kiddo..she had a child that has Downs Syndrome and an early arrival. She went thru all of this herself. She showed up at the hospital.. I remember running to her arms with huge tears hoping with that big hug it would take it all away. It was a good feeling to have her there..maybe because she had been thru it and lived it and just KNEW. 33 days in the NICU was really tough. I continued to go to the hospital every single day to hold and see my little guy. I missed one day because I ended up with quite a staff infection around my c-section incision. I was happy he was getting better and knew he was coming home but every single day they kept telling us he will turn the corner and he will get to go home. I got so tired of hearing that because I wanted my baby home. After every trip to the hospital my oldest would meet me at the door and ask me where Baby Luke was... Oh my, it took all I had no break out in tears and explain this one. We made it thru and who cares how we were going to figure out 2 in diapers, babies so close together without help..people ask me that a million times over while I was prego. We just didn't care we were glad to have our baby home and healthy. God will provide.
We have spent the year with lots of doctor's/hospital visits. In the ER at Dell Children's hospital for 8 solid hours, we had a surgery to correct Hypospadia and a possible hole in his throat, tons of breathing treatments, doctor's visit every Friday for a complete 6 weeks due to sickness. Lots and lots of fights with insurance companies. It doesn't even matter those all seem to be the little things compared to the blessing we were given.
I am thankful for my friends and family helping me thru the whole year. It has been a HUGE challenge and I have learned alot of life lessons that are invaluable.
No telling what next year will bring, but what I know for sure is that having both our kiddos in our lives has been such a blessing. We are so fortunate to come out on the other side of the challenges we faced with both children. I can’t say I am ready to add a little girl to our mix just yet or anytime soon for that matter. But it is a thought and if not well I am certainly blessed to have two great little boys who are healthy and the greatest things ever. God is Great!~
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